Open Your Heart

Have you ever given super great advice and then you’re really proud of yourself and you feel like you have it all together and wow, you just know exactly what to do in every situation and you’re just so mature and everyone should just listen to you cause if they did the cure for cancer would be found and they’d be world peace and you’re just so perfect maybe God should promote you to Angel status? But then you prove what an idiot you are cause two weeks later you turn and do something stupid that is totally going against your superb advice and now you are filled with regret cause it’s like “If I’d only listened to myself then I wouldn’t be in this mess and my gosh why is it so hard to take my own flippin` advice?!” *silence indicating that I still don’t have any readers* No? Just me? Well then, you all aren’t missing out on much. Good for you. *deep breath* Okay, right, sorry. You all have no idea what I’m talking about.

Let me explain. Okay so the previous church I went to I was at for three years which is a record for my family. And in order to keep myself busy I joined something called Bible Bowl. -don’t ask me to explain, that’s what Google is for people-. I just never took into account that I might actually make some friends. But with friends comes drama which I wasn’t aware of since I’d never really had one before. And boy, was it bad! I now knew what having friends was like and now I was done. All those friendships pretty much dissipated-some I personally ended for which I am not proud-. Maybe I could have stuck it out, who knows? But instead, I quit the team and shortly thereafter left that church. I was done with making friends. I told myself that I’d just wait until college.

And it was nice being by myself all the time. I’ve really grown in my faith with God and I’ve learned that loneliness can be a gift. I don’t need friends to make my life complete. And I don’t ever want to be desperate for friends again. But, that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t make friends. That’s where I went wrong. I let a few messed up relationships keep me from seeking friendship. I’ve let my heart become hardened by negative experiences. And it stops now. The people who are around me now are not the people who hurt me at my previous church. Making new friends after you’ve had previous messed up relationships doesn’t continue the cycle, but stops it. It gives you another chance to practice compassion, patience and forgiveness. If you don’t open your heart to people, you’re just keeping yourself from living. Maybe friendships nowadays are messed up, but that shouldn’t stop you from caring. From reaching out to others, and more importantly, letting them reach out to you. Don’t make the same mistake I’ve been making. Go out and meet people. Have an amazing life and don’t let failures keep you from being a success!

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