Living & Thriving vs Only Surviving

Well, it’s the eve of my 16th birthday. I must say, I didn’t think I’d live this long. I’ve battled depression, disease, bullies, and even death. I’m a survivor to say the the least. Life hasn’t been fair to me. I’ve had to fight and work hard for everything. It’s a struggle to live sometimes. Notice I said “live”. See, what I’ve learned about myself lately is that I’m a survivor. But I suck at actually living my life. I’ve always let my survival instinct kick in and forgotten that I need to live my life to the fullest. What brought me to this realization? A TV show (yes, the Lord DOES work in mysterious ways!) I was watching Once Upon A Time and as always, there was a crisis in Storybrooke. So the protagonist, Emma Swan, jumps into action to save the day- this time from a giant snowman, sorry, spoilers….- Emma has always been a survivor. She stays strong cause she has to. Which is something I can totally relate to! But while she tries to save the day, she tends to neglect her family, friends, and boyfriend. Finally, her boyfriend stops her and says ” Swan, there’s ALWAYS going to be a crisis, you can’t forget to live in the middle of them!” And then it hit me : that’s been my problem all along!  I put off living. I think: “I can enjoy myself and live AFTER the crisis is over” But then disaster strikes again and again and I end up avoiding living! It has to stop! I need to stop going through the motions. My life is never going to be easy so I can’t keep on waiting for my troubles to end. I want to thrive. There’s a huge difference between living and thriving versus only surviving. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to see it!

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