Well things are looking up. A little optimism and prayer go a long way! I didn’t plan on delving into how life is for me, but I mentioned that I was doing physical therapy, so why not an update? I have a therapy session every week and my hard work is paying off! So when I first started, my wrists could barely move and they were incredibly swollen. Now the swelling has decreased tremendously and I have an improved range of motion! I’ve been working a lot on my grip strength because I hope to be able to play my guitar again. It’s been about 3 months since I’ve been strong enough to play. So I tried today and was only able to play one song.
Now before anyone goes thinking I’m patient about the whole process, let me just clear that up with a bit of hard truth. I haven’t been optimistic about this the entire time. I write this as a reminder to myself. I don’t want to forget. I’ve been really frustrated and angry with my self. Sometimes I yell and cry when it’s too painful to continue with the stretches my physical therapist gave me. I always turn my music up to full volume so my family can’t hear my cries of pain. So many people focus on the success story and fail to remember how many hours or even years were spent to reach that point of wellness. It’s difficult and I wish I were better. I wish I could remember what feeling 100% was like. It’s been 8 years since I was first diagnosed with Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis. I wish this wasn’t so hard and painful. But it is.
I’ve begun to see that wishing won’t change anything and when things do change, it hardly ever happens overnight. The road to improvement is tiresome and lonely. The only thing I can do is take pleasure in the small victories and keep moving forward. How fun. In all seriousness, let me depart with a few words of encouragement: Give it to God. Seriously, he can handle it. All your pain, tears, and angry words. Give it to him and I can guarantee that he will take all the anguish and strife that’s plaguing your life right now and turn it around into something truly incredible.