Update on Life: Self-pity; The Not So Silent Killer

Only one more physical therapy session! I’ve improved so much and I was even able to write in 10 minute intervals yesterday! It’s been almost two months since I’ve been able to do that without my hand getting stiff.

Whenever someone asks about physical therapy and/or my arthritis, I always find myself ending with “Well, it’s no where near as bad as it was last time!” When honestly, it was probably about the same. Or at least physically it was. The only difference this time is that I haven’t indulged myself to a heaping of self-pity. And last time…well….it was…..a mess.
I cried myself to sleep, got moody, dramatized the situation in that annoying way where you add quickly afterward “But I’ll be okay, I don’t need your pity”. And because of that, a lot of my memories from the age of 7-11 are negative ones.

I remember one instance where I was crying on my bed and my dad came in and told me to get up, stop crying, and stop feeling sorry for myself. He told me that self-pity is very dangerous and that I needed to stop right then and there. Of course I was ticked for the longest time afterward cause I’ve always had a little rebel streak (thanks a lot, mom!).

But now that I’m older, I finally understand. I’ll always be grateful for what my Dad taught me. He taught me that it’s hard work that’ll get you places, never self-pity, laziness, or worry. The last two are still a work in progress for me….

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