After I accepted change and left behind my old way of living( don’t worry, I’ll write about how I did that) I was thrust into a season of loneliness. And by season, I mean the entire summer. I had expected at least one of my former friends to try to keep in touch. Some I honestly hoped to never hear from again, and some, I actually valued their friendship. But I heard nothing, nada.
The church I was now at, their youth group was (and still is) one big clique. There was no way of breaking into their ranks. I thought I could during the mission trip. Once again, I’ll write about that later. We (my sister and I) thought we had broken in after we had one conversation with them, but then they didn’t talk to us for the rest of the trip. The past two summer’s had been filled with tournaments, and new experiences. So it was difficult adjusting to doing absolutely nothing. I was hating where I was in my journey and doubting my decision of quitting. “Maybe I could have stuck it out and learned to deal with those who didn’t like me?” I kept on thinking. But it was far too late to go back.
It was finally a quote I saw on pinterest that brought on an AHA! moment.
As this sunk in, I realized that the season of loneliness I was experiencing, was a gift. I was supposed to use this God-given time to not only find out who I was, but who God was. He was telling me to slow down, and I hadn’t listened. He was giving me a chance to heal. And all I did was whine about it. Instead of asking “Why?!”, start asking: “What are you trying to show me?”