So here I am, in my junior year of high school. Drowning in schoolwork and I honestly feel like going to bed but I have so much to finish up before tomorrow and so I’m sitting here, wishing I could be a kid again and go build a pillow fort or play dolls with my older sister who’s graduating high school at the end of this month.
But then I began thinking about what my life was like when I was 10 and that really put a few things in perspective for me.
When I was 10, I was battling Celiac Disease and losing. I had just relapsed pretty hard and was going through intense physical therapy. I had no friends and was constantly battling depression and suicidal thoughts. I hear a lot of adults saying that kids don’t get depressed but that’s a lie. I’ve been there and seen other kids there.
And I remember, in the midst of that darkness, fighting to survive. I felt like I didn’t have a future and I kept on telling myself that I HAD to live to the magical age of 16. And I have. Right now, I’m building my future by choosing to work as hard as I am right now. All the present me wants is sleep, but I won’t.
I’m sure you’ve all heard that we need to fight for the person we want to become and that’s great advice. But don’t forget to fight in honor and rememberance of who you used to be. Would my 10 year old self be proud of who I am today? Cause I’d like to think so.
If it’s true that time is happening all at one and in multiple universes, than as I speak, the 10 year old me is crying herself to sleep, praying for a future. I want to fight because of her and her perseverance. I don’t want to stop fighting cause she wouldn’t want me to.
Dedicated to 10 year old Kaitlyn, Don’t stop fighting….